Monday, March 06, 2017
♥♥ Life Update and Zane ♥♥
Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. It has been a bit since I really posted an update on what is going on since my brothers passing. Things are starting to get to a new normal or as normal as they can be. We still have alot ahead of us but that is ok because we have each other and that is all that matters.
We still don't have an official cause of death on my brother. The coroner said it would be anywhere from 8-12 weeks because of the backlog on toxicology testing. I know that his not legal wife put out a post that said it was a heroin overdose the day that she brought his daughter up to say her goodbye's. The truth is that she was only guessing. No one knows for sure if it was heroin, a heart attack, stroke or a brain aneurysm. Could it have been any of these? Absolutely. Did he have drugs in his system. Absolutely. Did it warrant her to immediately hope on IG, Twitter and FB and announce it was Heroin? Absolutely NOT!!!!!! She has claimed for months that he was this horrible retchet person who deserved to die and when he does die she wants to jump on YT, Twitter, IG and FB and say "I never wanted him dead, I would never wish that on his children". Proof of her blogs and videos say otherwise. She got her wish and now she can play the poor "widow" which she is not. Truth is he was still married to someone else.
Scott was cremated and I paid for it. Yes I set up a go fund me page to help with burial/cremation and legal expenses for Zane. I received after the fees right at $1,000 which was only enough to pay for the attorney to get custody of Zane. I am glad to say that I now have full and legal custody of him. Nothing anyone can say or do will change that. Yes his mother was here for a bit and she was here with the permission of my brother. Yes, she had her kids taken away but it was my brother's decision to let them still have a relationship that was supervised. Where is his mother now? I have no clue. She hasn't been here in over a month and I haven't talked to her except for a text message in almost as long. I told her that if she wanted to see her son then she had to get the necessary help that she needed to be a better person. Now before anyone goes and reads anything into that statement let me explain. She has some mental issues, hell who wouldn't with raising 6 kids by their self. She got little to no financial support from any of the fathers and ultimately she lost custody of all of them. This is the only parent that these children have ever really known. So of course my brother wanted to make sure that his son's state of mind was right and allowed supervised visits from time to time.
I know some of you have concerns about her influence on him but I can assure you that worry is unwarranted. I have always been for the children and what is best for them. I don't give a rats ass who I piss off in protecting them or what I have to pay in order to do it. Children are GODS gift to us and as such we should do any and everything in our power to make sure that they can be children and grow up with a loving and nurturing home.
Not only do I have custody of Zane but I am also taking care of my grandson fulltime as well. I never thought at 45 I would be raising a 2 1/2 yr old and a 14 yr old but here I am. I do it with alot of Love, patience and COFFEE!!!! My family is the most precious and important thing to me and I wouldn't trade that for all the tea in china.
We currently rent our 3 bedroom home from my BIL who has agreed to turn our formal diningroom/office into a 4th bedroom for Zane. We have another contractor coming out tomorrow to do more measurements. Our landlord is going to replace all the flooring in the house, put up a permanent wall between the livingroom and diningroom/office and put a door on it for privacy along with some other minor things that we want done. I can honestly say that I am not looking forward to all the chaos that is going to come with that but I will feel better once Zane has his own room and we can get the grandbaby back into his room and out of our bed. Sleeping with a 2 1/2 yr old is like sleeping with a herd of animals that are all over the bed. I have been woken up so many times with his feet in my face or across my chest that I can't even count them.
We had Scott cremated and the coroner told the funeral home to put him into 3 boxes because she couldn't legally determine who his real wife was. Since they are both saying that they are his wife and no one can prove otherwise, they decided it best to separate him into 3 boxes so we could all have one. Well low and behold, Kisha goes to the funeral home and tells them that she is his wife and she will make sure that his ashes get distributed to who they are supposed to. She then sends me an email telling "I have his ashes and maybe we could get together and she could give me a box of his ashes, or maybe not, idk". Needless to say I was a little more than pissed. The funeral home was under direct orders to only release the ashes to me since there was a dispute over who was his "real" wife. She then proceeds to tell me "you paid for them with the go fund me money so you aren't out any real money so all is well". You know I just love it how people tell me what I have and haven't done with money. I clearly made a previous post about what the money went on and how much I received. That is ok though because what comes around goes around. I didn't want the ashes honestly, I have my memories, but Zane wanted his fathers ashes. Now because of her he won't be able to get them. Yet somehow I am the bad guy in her world. Hmmm, lets think about that for a second. She takes ashes of her "supposed" husband whom she has proclaimed time and time again that she hated, he was a liar, a thief, a pedophile, a drug addict, a womanizer and a rapist but yet now that he is gone she still loves him and that his ashes belong to her. Can anyone explain that to me because I can't figure it out. Yes that was a rhetorical question. Anyway, enough about her and her drama.
I really came on here to tell everyone how things were going and to give a quick update. Obviously, I got off on a tangent about the crazy shit that has happened. I have not heard from her for a bit and I am so Thankful for that. However, with this post I am sure that will change. She will go back to calling me a "fat cow" and everything else that she likes to do when she is called out on her b.s.
Zane is going to get into flag football or try to at least. He played football last year but doesn't want to do full on football. We are also getting him involved in a youth group at church. Amazingly this kid doesn't mind going. Call me shocked. The more surprising thing is that he has told me that "I don't want to be a victim of my circumstance, I want to be better and do better. Just because I have had a hard time doesn't mean I have to act negative about it". I tell you what, this kid is amazing to think and feel that way after all he has had to endure in the last 2 1/2-3 years. He still has a positive attitude, he is kind, caring, helpful and well mannered. I have to give kudos to his mom for that. She did raise him after all. He still feels a little awkward asking for things but like I told him, the answer may be no at times but ask again in a week or a month from now and it might change to a yes. He is still trying to get used to the idea that he is home now and he isn't going to be uprooted or taken away.
We had a parent teacher conference last week and all the teachers said that he is the most kind, soft spoken, intelligent, detailed oriented helpful kid they have ever had in their class. They were super shocked that he was that away after I gave them the backgound on the past couple of years. His one teacher told me that they never would have known because he is the best student in their class. That says alot about how he was raised regardless of the moms issues.
My brother wasn't the best at keeping paperwork and as a result I am running into every wall imaginable trying to get this kids medical records. Like I said, I don't talk to his mom so that is no help. I have called the schools that he has been at for the last 2 years and they keep telling me that they transferred them with all his other records. Apparently, my brother never got the medical records. I keep calling LA vital records and DCFS and they aren't responding either. It is like they don't care if this kid has his shot records or medical records. I truly hate having to deal with this but I know that it is worth the fight and hassle.
One more thing before I close. I previously left all the negative comments up on the other post about my brother and his passing. I will not allow them on this post. This post went into alot of stuff and details and I am sure that some of her followers will be on here wanting to run their mouth. I will delete those comments as soon as I possibly can. I don't have access to my blog at work but if I see them I will get them deleted one way or another. So no negative comments. I am doing what alot of people can't or won't do and that is take care of 2 children that aren't mine and making sure that they are Loved, nurtured, clothed, feed and taken care of all while working a fulltime job. I am not a person who parents by phone, email or internet but I am a parent who does those things in person and with love, patience and understanding. Education and Love are not an option in my house, they are mandatory!!!!!! So if you have something negative to say, say it to yourself and keep on going and don't bother stopping here to say it.