Saturday, February 25, 2017

Happy Birthday To My Brother Kevin

Today is my brother Kevin's 50th Birthday.  OMG he is  I just wanted to take a quick minute out of my day to wish him a Happy Birthday and to tell him he is loved.

Where has the years gone?  It seems like only yesterday we were all together at the house celebrating your birthday and we were all having fun and cutting up.  Now we are down 3 members of the family, miles apart and living busy and separate lives.

You have always been there for me no matter what the situation or the circumstances and I want to Thank You for that.  Because of you I have learned how to defend myself and look at things from a different perspective.  Even though we don't see each other like we used to I know that all I have to do is pick up the phone and call and you will be there.  

My dear brother, I wish nothing but the best for you and hope that you have an amazing day.  I wish you many more wonderful days to come and many more wonderful years on this earth.  You have always been and always will be my honey dear.

I Love You and Miss You and hope you have a wonderful day and evening.

Love always,
Your sister

post signature

Thursday, February 02, 2017

Squashing Rumors and other Hateful Things -- Warning Long Post

photo from a google search **not mine and don't know who it belongs to**

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog.  I know some of you know about my brother passing and have reached out to me.  First, I want to say Thank You for all the kind words, your encouragement and your donations.

This post is going to be a long one so be patient with me.

There are alot of rumors going around as to why my brother died by people who were not here when it happened and that is why I am writing this post.  The other reason I am writing is because people have been so horrible at attacking me for belonging to a certain webpage that is a Gossip Site.  So with this being said I am going to set the record straight!!!!!

First setting the record straight about the Gossip Site.  I joined this site because of my ex-sil telling me about it.  She had been reading it for years and directed me to it so I could see what they were saying about her.  For a long time I sat silent and on occasion I would chime in and defend her or try to explain a situation to them that would hopefully make them ease up on her.  At no point had I ever created a section about her or anyone else on this or any site.  We were the best of friends and I was defending her and our family.  

After she and my brother separated I started to receive the most vile and hateful text messages from her out of the blue.  I still don't know what I did wrong to make her that way towards me other than siding with my brother.  My family comes first and foremost before ANYONE EVER!!!!!  I will always side with my family and for that I will not apologize.  Things were being said that were either said by her in her fit of rage or just pure speculation about the situation.  I again chimed in and set the record straight.  I am a tell it like it is type of person and I don't hide things when asked of me.  If I feel it is none of your business then I simply won't answer you or I will tell you that I won't get into it.  End of discussion.  Somethings are not mine to tell and that is another reason I won't say things.

However, with that being said, I would get verbally attacked on a fairly regular basis from my ex-sil even though I did not initiate contact with her.  Why you ask?  I have no clue and you would honestly have to ask her.  I am sure she felt betrayed but anyone wouldn't expect me to side against my brother.  I mean seriously would you?  I think not.  So yes I have continued on the gossip site and I have answered specific questions that I have first hand knowledge of or have been told directly by either my ex-sil or my brother.  I mean seriously, my ex-sil puts up youtube videos documenting everything and telling everyone everything so it wasn't like I was telling or saying something that she herself hadn't already said on video.

Now here we are dealing with my brothers death and there is some private information being shared, assumed information being shared and straight out lies that are being shared.  I set up a Go Fund Me Page to help with my brothers burial and legals fees that I am facing in order to get custody of his son.  The ex-sil put in a video that my brother died of a heroin overdose, he died in my shower, I was an enabler and that I had created a Go Fund Me page to help with the expenses since he didn't have insurance.  Right after saying all this she says "you don't have to feel obligated to donate, his sister works so yeah she is doing ok".    Now it is true you don't have to feel obligated to donate but the last part of that sentence was like a slap in the face.  What the hell does me working have to do with providing a service for my brother and taking care of legal fees to get custody of my nephew?  

Seriously people have you priced a funeral lately?  The average funeral is in excess of $10,000.00 if you go with a regular funeral home.  If you go with New Comer Funeral home it still runs in the excess of $5,000.00.  Even a cremation can cost upward of $3,000.  The state will perform one for $500 but that still has to come from somewhere.  That is still a huge amount of money for someone who is paying everyday expenses such as rent, car payments, insurance, daycare, utilities and buying groceries.  I don't know about you but I don't have that kind of money saved up.  The go fund me has raised $1,115 dollars and it charges 5% for Go Fund Me, 2.9% +.30 per donation to process payments.  That averages out to be between 15-20%.  An average cost of an attorney is $1,000 and yes I have called around for pricing to make sure I would have enough money and not go into one blindsided on their fees.  So as of this moment I have hired an attorney, I have paid the $1,000 and yes I have even paid for the cremation of my brother because there is no way in hell I can afford a traditional funeral.  So if you take the amount of money that has been contributed to the go fund me and take the percentage away that they charge you will see I am actually right at $1,000.00 and that is what I had to pay the attorney.

So that is the explanation on the money portion and the go fund me.  Now, back to the rumors and things that are being said.  The night that my brother died my ex-sil showed up at the hospital and I called security and had her escorted out of the building.  Why you ask or you may be thinking I am a horrible person for doing that.  The answer is simple, Scott had an E.P.O (Emergency Protection Order) against her from when they separated.  That is a whole other story that I will not get into.  My brother and I had just talked the night before and he stressed to me that she wouldn't leave him alone even though he blocked her phone number and she kept calling him from different numbers or would block her number from showing up.  He stated that he didn't want to be anywhere near her and just wanted to move on with his life but she was making it difficult to do that.   Now she is saying in her video that they talked a lot and she had just spoken to him 2 days before he passed.  Rather any of this is true or not I can't say.  What I can say is what he expressed to me and that was he didn't want her anywhere near him or his family.  So with him saying that to me I respected his wishes and kept her from being around him at the hospital.  I told her I was truly sorry it had to be this way but I am only respecting my brothers wishes.  I wasn't trying to be mean even though she had said horrible things to me, about me, about him and even about my dead daughter.  All of these things can be proven by her in her videos.

Also, she has stated in her latest video that he had been working at a dealership for 2 weeks before he passed.  Technically he wasn't even working there because his license was suspended for child support.  She also stated that he had a big paycheck on Friday, again, this statement is false.  I have spoken with the owners of the dealership and they said that he didn't technically work for them and they couldn't officially hire him or pay him because of his license being suspended.  So he didn't get money from the dealership to get drugs, he didn't get a paycheck from the dealership to get drugs and he damn sure didn't get any money from me or anyone in my house for drugs!!!!!!!!!  We honestly don't know why he died.  Like I stated before, at 5:10 we heard a noise and I checked on him and he was talking and fine.  By 5:30 I am being woke up saying that he is unresponsive and not breathing.  I called 911 and it took them 15 minutes to get to my house.  In that 15 minutes we performed C.P.R. but wasn't able to get him back.  The medics performed C.P.R. on him for another 15 minutes and was able to get his heartbeat and pulse back but he had already been without oxygen for 15 minutes.  Could it have been an overdose?  Could it have been a heart attack?  Could it have been an aneurysm?  Could it have been a stroke?  We don't honestly know what it was and honestly it could have been any or several of these things.  We just simply DON'T KNOW.  However, she felt it was her place to immediately get on Social Media and tell the world that he died of a drug overdose while she was sitting in her car at the hospital.  Which by the way she was there because she brought his daughter up to see him.  All while defaming my brother, his name and the rest of us for "enabling him" as she said.  This all being said while she is playing the "victim" of the situation when the real "victim" in all of this was his 14 yr old son and his daughter. 

When a family is grieving the last thing anyone should do is get online and post horrible things as she did.  I am not now or ever sweeping anything under the rug or turning a blind eye to anything.  What I am doing is simply stating the facts and events as I was first hand witness to the situation.  Now this may anger some of you and that is fine, you are entitled to your feelings, just as I am mine.  However, when you start assuming shit and throwing out acquisitions without being a direct party to the events you are doing nothing but showing your lack of compassion, your lack of morals and your complete and total lack of respect for any and everyone involved but mainly you are disrespecting his children.  They are innocent parties to all of this regardless of your thoughts or feelings and you should be showing some respect to them in this situation along with the rest of his family.

My ex-sil has people who follow her on social media and they are all wanting to bash my brother, myself and others that they don't personally know all because of what she is saying in these videos.  Here is the TRUTH PEOPLE, YOU WEREN'T THERE AND DON'T KNOW FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE!!!!  She wasn't there and doesn't have first hand knowledge.  What she is saying is pure and total speculation on the situation or what "others" have told her.  You are entitled to believe who or whatever you want but that does not give you the right to send me messages on Facebook telling me that I am a Fat F*ck and the reason I am not getting donations is because I am on a gossip site.  Let those who have no sin throw the first stone.  In other words, you are not an innocent person and have flaws and have NO RIGHT TO JUDGE ME or my family!!!!!  I am not on that site to promote violence or any kind, I am not on that site to attack anyone, I am not on that site to entice or persuade anyone of anything.  I am on that site because half the stuff that is said is either funny or right on spot from what people put out on Youtube.  Not to mention that these total strangers have been the ones who have geniunely cared and extended their gratitude to me and my family.  They are the one's that have donated the most.  Regardless of it being a gossip site or a hate site or whatever you want to call it, they are the one's who have cared enough to reach out to me and help support us financially though all of this horrible tragedy.  If you can't stand the heat keep your ass out of the kitchen.  If you can't stand the criticism or someone talking about you then keep your ass off youtube and sharing your personal lives and information about your family.  The fact that people want to make my ex-sil out to be the only one that is hurt and grieving in this whole tragedy is pure sick.  They had been separated for over 4 months, she has moved on to someone else just as he had and they were not together nor trying to reconcile when he passed.  The true people affected by all of this is his son and his daughter.  Regardless of your opinions or thoughts about me, his son is still going to need support, his son still has needs to be meet, his son still needs to lay his father to rest rather it be through a cremation or a funeral.  His son and daughter deserve to have that closure.  They deserve to be able to grieve and say their goodbyes to their father.  They deserve respect and privacy and not having people sharing details or mean comments on the internet.  

Someone had even said that they won't contribute because I apparently don't care about my grandson because I am on that site.  First off, you have some nerve.  My family is my world and I will protect them till my last breathe.  Second of all, what the hell do you think you are doing by leaving such hateful comments.  Do you seriously think you are any better than I am?  I can hold my head up high and say that I have never been in any trouble legally, I don't do drugs, I work full time and take care of my family.  I can also say that I have paid others bills when they couldn't.    So your opinion of me is irrelevant.  

This post is not to stir up trouble, start a fight or anything else.  This post is about squashing rumors, correcting the hateful comments and setting the record straight.  Given all of this I ask that you continue to keep our family and especially my brothers children in your prayers as we are all dealing with this death.  It is not one person's death to deal with because there are many that loved my brother.  At the end of the day it isn't about you, it isn't about me, but it is about his children and making sure that they are safe, cared for, loved and knowing that they have people who care and support them.

If you feel the urge to leave a nasty comment I want you to first stop and think how you would feel if you were in this situation, how your children would feel and how it would affect them.  If you wouldn't like it then I suggest you not leave a comment.  We don't need judgment or hateful comments.  What we all need is privacy, room to grieve and respect.

post signature