Thursday, September 17, 2015

Reflections on life

Good evening everyone.  I wanted to take a moment and reflect on what life has given me, taken from me, thrown at me and what I have survived.

Tomorrow is my babies 21st birthday and it got me to thinking about all the things that I have been through in these past 21 years.  Man how time flies by in a blink of an eye.  It doesn't seem that long ago and yet I feel 1000 yrs older than I did back then.

But in those 21 years he has been through alot and with me right there along with him.  His father and I divorced but he still kept visiting with him, his grandmother and uncle until his dad got married again.  Since then he hasn't really seen his dad.  Although, he did move in with him for about a year because my mother got diagnosed with cancer and taking care of her was a full-time job and really took it's toll on my son.  He started getting into fights at school and just had a really hard time dealing with it.  You see he was extremely close to my mom.  Afterall he was the baby of the family, mom's running buddy and the only boy in the house.  He really adored and admired her along with his sisters.  I have to say I raised a pretty good kid.

Then his nana a.k.a. my mom, passed away and he handled it as any kid would and pretty much kept it all in.  He didn't like to show his emotions to much because he thought he had to be the man of the house for me.  Bless his heart he tried so hard.  Then less than six months later his big sister who he was closest to got killed in a motorcycle accident.  I think that was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.

But he kept his head up.  He joined ROTC at school, became a junior member of the police force for teens.  He started to date Emilee and even took her to his Senior Prom which I was a little worried about him not wanting to go.  But he went and I have to say he was absolutely handsome and the dress that she wore was beautiful.  Sadly thought they didn't stay together very long since she was only a Junior.

Yes she is that white and it isn't a bad lighting or correcting job in photoshop.  She was still beautiful and they made an adorable couple.

He moved to my brother's house for a little bit after he turned 18 because he had a choice of either getting a job or going to college and he didn't want to do either.  Since he didn't have a male role model in his life, I called my brother and asked him to help.  He told me to send him on down to his house and he would get him a job and teach him how to work and make money.  He did just that and even helped him get a car.  He still has that car to this day.  It has cost me a fortune in repairs but that is to be expected for an older car.

After several months he moved back home, got a job at Chucke E Cheese and has been working every since.  Today he is an assistant manager at Great Cookie Company in one of the major malls in town.  He stays in his room mostly after work and plays on his computer.  So I don't have to worry about him getting in trouble when he isn't home because he is working and when he isn't he is home so no worries.

The only thing that I wish is that his Nana and sister were here to help him celebrate his 21st birthday.  I know he misses them everyday and his niece and nephew as well.  We will all one day get to see them again when the time is right.  Until that day comes he is honoring his nana and sister with this amazingly beautiful tattoo that takes up the majority of his back.

Life hasn't always been hard for him though.  There were a lot of great moments for sure.  We have traveled a bit to St. Louis, Texas, Florida, North Carolina and South Carolina.  Not to mention all the other places he has been with his grandmother on his father's side.  He graduated from High School, experienced a job in sales which he didn't really do well with.  It was a commissioned base job and they gave him the worst area of town that was door to door.

He has done so much that it is hard to write it all in one post.  If I did you would be here for a long  I can honestly say that he has grown into a very wonderful young man even though he has been dealt a lot of heartache and blows in his 21 years.  He is a stronger person than most people his age and really values family and life.  He has loved and lost, failed and conquered, been happy, sad and depressed but through it all he has been a rock, an amazing son and a dependable person.

Yes I still get attitude sometimes but hey what do you expect.  He is only 20 3/4 at the moment.  Hell who am I kidding I still have attitude and I am in my 40's.

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