Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Confusion, Deceit, Hurt and Love

I seen this quote and thought it would be perfect for the weekend/week I have been having so far.  Today I am writing about something that has been an issue for awhile now and I think I have finally gotten it all straightened out and behind me/us.

The weekend started out even though it was rainy and cool on Friday.  I was not about to let that get to me though.  I had plans for Saturday and hoped like hell that the weather would let up and it be a nice day.  I got up at 5:30 on a Saturday morning to get to an event that my fellow AVON Rep and I were doing that was suppose to have an attendance of about 22K to 25K people at it.  I was the first in line which surprised me because we had been told that usually by 6 a.m. or so that there would already be a line of cars waiting to get into the event to set up.  Luckily that was not the case this morning.  However, Lisa did get stuck in the long line of traffic for about 45 minutes.  When she finally got there we got things set up and ready to go.  Here is a pic of Lisa after we got everything together.

It was cool, cloudy and not as busy as they anticipated.  We did however get 94 potential new customers, 11 orders, 7 people interested in the AVON Opportunity and signed up 1 person on the spot.  Needless to say after being there at a little after 6 a.m. and not leaving until almost 7 p.m. we were exhausted from standing on our feet all day.  But it was good all in all.

So now lets move on to the bad part and the issue that has been going on for awhile.  This is where the confusion, deceit and hurt come in.

I have been dealing with a person who has accused me of having an affair with her husband that is my ex-husband.  Now mind you I am Happily Married and have been telling this woman this for sometime but she wouldn't let it go.  She kept sending me text messages with the acquisitions and threatening me.  Even though I have told her over and over and over that we are not.  Well Monday was the last straw for me.  She sent me a text message telling me to treat him good because he deserved it.

I immediately called when I received the message because I was getting tired of telling her that we weren't having an affair.  At this point this is how I was feeling only alot more meaner.

Well I called my ex-husband and just blasted him over this stupid ridiculous bullshit and told him about all of it.  Well apparently he called her and said something because she called me like 20 minutes later.  From a restricted number I might add.  I knew it was her, I just felt it.  So when I answered the phone I was less then nice.

Now mind you this is the first time I have actually talked to her in over a year.  I have no reason to talk to her.  But I was more then ready to put an end to this.  I mean this was literally to the point of harassment and me going to take out a warrant on her just to make her stop.

So I asked her why she thought he and I were having an affair and I like to have fell over when she told me.  Here is her reason, no joke, "because you all talk all the time".  "Seriously, because we talk you think we are having an affair?  Yes we talk because we have children together.   Our oldest son doesn't talk to me so I have to call his dad to find out how things are with him and our younger son doesn't talk to his dad so he calls to find out about him.   Of course we talk." Then she proceeded to tell me that I can call her because she talks to my older son and I flat out told her that I don't have to call her because she isn't the mother and she isn't the father.  So she asked why we only talked during his work hours and I quickly corrected her and told her that wasn't the only times that we talk but the main reason he won't answer his phone when I call and she is around is because he said she is "f**cking nuts".  That isn't my problem that is his.  I don't care.  I have talked to him several times sitting next to my husband.

Finally, she started to realize that her assumption was completely wrong.  She started crying and telling me all kinds of things and being the compassionate person that I am started to give her advice on her marriage.  Weird right, she is married to my ex.

Anyway, she was complaining that they aren't like they used to be and how things are so different and so on and so forth.  I explained to her that her husband does love her because he has told me numerous of times and that he wasn't cheating on her but her acting crazy makes them both unhappy.  If you aren't happy then don't stay in the relationship.  Don't argue in front of your kids and let them see that you are having problems because what they see growing up is how they will be when they are grown.

I told her that no matter what the outcome is she cannot let them kids see them fighting.  She needs to suck it up rather she is falling apart on the inside or not and make sure that them kids know that they are loved, they are safe and they will be secure regardless of the end result.  I ended the call by telling her to get herself together by going and taking a long hot bath and relaxing before they get home from school and when hubby gets home to go for a walk just the two of them and talk.  If you don't change the behavior then you aren't going to change the results.

This quote is so fitting because no matter how difficult things in life are we have a choice we just have to choose to make the choice and act upon it.

So today I sent her a message asking if she took my advise.  She replayed with yes and that I probably saved her marriage.  She said he is stubborn (you think, I was married to him I know) but she thinks he realized what she was trying to say and how she feels.

So now that we got past the confusion on my part, the deceit she thought he was doing, the hurt she was feeling we are now at the love portion.  They are going to have a long road but I know that they do truly love each other and I told her that I honestly hope they can fix things.  If you truly love someone then you will figure away to work through your issues and be as one.

So I believe that even though something was starting out horribly wrong that in the end when you stop and talk about things and go straight to the source then you will find the issue you think you have really isn't an issue at all.  Just talk and be open and honest with one another.

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