Saturday, October 12, 2013

What a week this past one has been!!!!! Sorry this is a long post and mostly a rant.

So I had hoped to start blogging more regularly but honestly that hasn’t happened.  I live a pretty simple and boring life except for this past couple of weeks.  Ok it was still boring but more taxing on me emotionally.  My average day is get up, go to work, be bored at work, come home and play on the computer, figure out what is for dinner and then watch some TV. or crochet.  See nothing exciting at all.
So I have had a family member living with me since April because of circumstances that led her to being homeless.  Now I didn’t keep close contact with her for a while but when I found out she was homeless I spoke to my husband and we agreed to let her come live with us and help her get back on her feet.  She has burned me in the past when I let her use my mother’s bed and dresser.  She somehow lost it, I am guessing because of who she had living with her when she became homeless.  Needless to say I was beyond pissed because my mother is no longer with us.  Anyway, I decided to help her out because that is how I was raised.  Her mother and I had some major words over it and we haven’t talked since.  Her mom basically blames me for trying to help her when she thought she should have to fall on her ass and sit in jail to learn a lesson.  Ummm hello……she is your child and you should be happy that she isn’t living on the streets.  Whatever! 
So the rules were simple in my house.  Get a job, finish your court order anger management classes, get a job, save money to get on your feet, go to church and respect my house….the number one rule above and beyond them all was DON”T EVER LIE TO ME!!!!  If you don’t want to answer the question then just simply say…I don’t want to answer the question.  Well she got a job, finished her classes, went to church for a bit, and I forced her to save money by having her give me so much a week.  Finally she got a car and since then shit went downhill.  Oh btw, during all of this I also got her a phone and put her on my cell plan. 

After she got her car she decided to start staying at a “friends” house a lot which is no big deal.  It isn’t like she couldn’t have  a social life,  Well when I made mention to her that I felt like she was treating my house life a flop house because she would come in, take a nap, start laundry and then leave it in the washer and stay gone for days she assured me that wasn’t the case.  Well one day she bent over to kiss me on the check and I made mention that she stunk and I asked if she had been around a man…….her answer was no.  A couple of days later she posted on Facebook that she was at a medical facility because she wasn’t feeling well and her “boyfriend” was with her.  So that is lie number one that I actually caught her in.  Then there was some others as well but I won’t go into all of them.   Now I know you are probably thinking what should that matter or that isn’t a big deal.  Your right it isn’t a big deal but the big deal is that she point blank lied to me about it.  Either way a lie is a lie period.  So I sent her a message because she was avoiding me like the flu and told her she had to find another place to live because it just wasn’t working out.  NO problem she said because she found her an apartment that she can move into on the first of November….great I am happy that she found some place to call her own and try and get her kids back that are at her mothers.
So here is where all the drama to this story comes in at.  Last night after several nights of trying to get her to bring my key and the bag that was my late daughters she shows up.  I told her that she had to get the phone out of my name and that we needed to call Sprint and get it switched.  She said that she can’t because she had a old bill.  I told her that if she can’t then I was getting the phone turned off.  Great there goes $250 out of pocket for cancelling the contract.  Now mind you she did not pay for the phone or to turn it on or anything else.  I paid $198 for it and she never paid me back.  Then the bill for August and September which she paid me $80 for.  I took her phone last night and when she asked for it back I told her NO.  She was pissed to say the least.  She said that it wasn’t fair just because she had a boyfriend and didn’t tell me and that she paid the bill and that is the only way she has to get ahold of her kids, mom etc.  I told her that if the transfer went through then I would give her the phone back but until then I wasn’t because I couldn’t trust that she would pay the bill since she has lied and been avoiding me.  I was not about to let her burn me financially like that.  I don’t think I was wrong…do you?  How would you handle it if it was you in this situation?  I get a call from her with a voicemail saying that she is going to come over before work and get her T.V. that she left and her $100 she paid for HER CELLPHONE.  Uh first off, you didn’t pay me $100 for it, second off, you have only paid 2 bills and you have had it for 3 months, and third, you have been living here rent free for 5 months, not paid one dime of anything including your own personal hygiene stuff.  So yeah no I won’t be giving you a $1oo because you never paid me a $100 to begin with.  She did owe me for the $97 worth of Avon that I paid for her and her cell phone bill was $85.60 so she gave me $180.  So as far as I am concerned we are square.
I feel really bad because this girl has had it bad.  Her mom always treated her like a stepchild and nothing she ever did was good enough.  She has a good heart but gets taken advantage of a lot and doesn’t make the best decisions.  I am just sad to see that she is now back where she started from more less.  She was doing so good living here with me, my husband and my son.  She wasn’t dealing with the drama because my husband doesn’t allow drama and she actually had someone who had her best interest at heart.  Now she has drama and people who don’t really have her best interest at heart.

Today is my 2 yr wedding anniversary and she is supposed to come over which I am hoping she doesn’t but even if she does I am not going to deal with the drama.  I just hope that she will eventually learn to take care of her instead of letting people use her like a doormat. 
So now I have managed to piss her off and everyone else to say the least but I don’t understand why people want to be pissed at me for doing what I said I was going to do.  I am sorry that they don’t like that I won’t be a doormat for them or whatever they want me to be.  So now I have managed going from only have a few people in my family not talking to me to a whole lot of people not talking to me because someone couldn’t follow the rules.  Shit happens, life happens and I am ok with that.  At the end of the day I have to be true to me and my family and God.

I hope that one day we will be able to communicate again and get pasted this but until she changes her ways that won’t happen.  Her past actions lead up to her being homeless and she is repeating those same actions today.  Even her mother has said that but I am the bad guy. 

I hope everyone else has a great day.  I am going to help another friend get a couch today and then celebrate my anniversary with my hubby.