Thursday, August 11, 2016

Thyroid Test Results and Surgery




Not my image.  Got it from http://www.thyroid.com.au/procedures/thyroid-surgery/

Good evening everyone and thank you for stopping by my little ole blog for a minute.

I have been having an issue with some swelling on my neck that started about 2 years ago.  It scared me so bad that I went to the E.R. and was told that I had a growth on my thyroid.  I was so scared because the swelling was making it difficult to swallow and breathe and it came on without warning or provoking.  They ran multiple test on me and sent me on my way.  

A couple days later I get a call to go see an endocrinologist and see what they recommend.  Well low and behold I had to have a needle drain on the swelling and that should take care of everything since all my function test came back normal.  Things were great after that with no more swelling or difficulty to breath.  Couple months later go back for more function test and again they are all normal.  Thank God is all I can say about that because it is scary.  

However, this past February my neck started to swell again.  This time I realized I didn't need to go back to the E.R. so instead I went to my family doctor.  She sent me for an ultrasound on my neck and it came back as the goiter is still growing.  Not by much but by enough.  Off to Advanced ENT I go (I wouldn't recommend these people if my life depended on it) and they recommend a needle aspiration so that is done.  Results, nothing, noda, zip, zilch, empty.  Seriously people come on, something has to be going on or showing up for this to keep happening.

I get very emotional and upset, start to cry and the doctor looks at me and says "if you are going to act this way there is not point in talking to you" and gets up and walks out.  

I was looked at the nurse and said "did that seriously just happen" "did he really just say that and walk out".  Needless to say I didn't go back to that doctor.  


So I go to the doctor about a month ago and she recommends another doctor.  I go to the doctor, again another ultrasound and the results today.  He says that I have to have surgery because it keeps growing and they have no reason as to why.  All the test come back negative and all my levels are normal.  

My son had just gone through this about 2 years before when he tried to join the Army.  The doctor found a goiter on his neck and that started a whole series of appointments, testing, scans, more testing, more appointments until finally they determined it was not cancer and gave him a radiation treatment to kill off the thyroid because it kept growing.  Since then he has had no more problems.  I was scared for my son and I did my best like every parent should and kept positive and told him that he had nothing to worry about.

Well now it is my turn.  My son tells me that it is nothing to worry about because he had the same problem and he is fine now.  Although my problem is a little different then his, I have to have surgery.  But you know as I am sitting here writing this it just occurred to me that my son didn't have to have surgery so why should I?  He took a radiation pill and was basically quarantined for 10 days.  Not that it is really an option for me since I have my grandson living here.  I have yet to tell him that the doctor scheduled surgery for 4 days before his birthday.  Man this is going to suck.

My daughter was the first one I told and she looked like she was going to bust out in tears.  She was a trooper though because she kept them inside.  I know it scares her for anything to possibly happen to me or her brother.  Since my oldest died 8 years ago we tend to panic when it comes to serious illnesses or procedures.

My husband gets home from work and I inform him and the look on his face was scary.  He normally doesn't show emotion but today he did and it was a look of worry, concern and scared all rolled into one.  I told him I didn't want to have surgery and normally he would say "it doesn't matter what you want, you gotta do it" but today he could only say "I know and I don't want you to either".

For years I have fought depression, anxiety, weight gain, sleep deprivation, memory loss, headaches, and just complete and utter exhaustion.  I have a low heart rate and blood pressure unless I am having a hot flash..lol.  I started menopause at 35 and it is still going.  I have all the symptoms of a thyroid problem but have always chalked it up to low iron levels and not drinking milk.  My family doctor has always been great at running every test imaginable so you would figure that I would have either low or high thyroid levels but they have always come back normal.  This is scary shit in my opinion and there is nothing that I can do about it.  I have to leave it in Gods hands and the doctors.  They know what is best.  After all they are the experts, not me.  

So of course what does my dumb ass do?????  If you guessed looking it up on YouTube you are a gazillion percent correct.  Oh how I wish I hadn't done that.  My stomach was turning from being nauseous and my nerves are absolutely wrecked.  If I wasn't already scared I sure as hell am now.  I highly advise you not to do what I did and look it up on YouTube.  Scary Scary shit right there.

Anyway, this is what is going on with me at the moment and God willing it will be just the one thyroid and the pathologist won't find any cancer.  They say if it is cancer it is the best one to have.  Uh seriously, no cancer is a good cancer to have.  The side affects are a possible change in my voice, hoarseness and taking off work for at least a week.  Great just what I need.

However, I have to look at things like this...God knows what he is doing and I am going to get through as long as I have him and my family on my side.  Plus I get to go on vacation to Philly and NYC at the end of October so I will be plenty busy at work until I leave for vacation.  

I just would like to take this time and ask for you to keep me and my family in your prayers as we are approaching and going through this ordeal.  It is scary to say the least and even though it is a routine procedure there is always room for error.

Thank you and have a great evening or day and God Bless.


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Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Tuesdays Rambles



Hello everyone and welcome to my little post.  It has been a long while since I have been on here and actually wrote anything.  It isn't because I have been busy or anything, it is honestly because I have not had much to say.  Until now.  Sorry for the rant and long post but I have to get this off of my mind.

So there has been alot of stuff happening lately and I just can't hold my tongue any longer.  I am not going to blast details but I am going to say somethings that might be confusing to most.  However, the one that it shouldn't be confusing to is the one that has me writing this.  Their actions or lack thereof, their attitude, their comments and total disregard for responsibility.

The circumstances surrounding the downward spiral that you find yourself in is the results of your own actions.  You are not a helpless victim.  You have been told and warned that this would happen but you denied and refused to believe it.  Now that it has happened you are wanting to put all the blame of it on one person and none on yourself.  The behavior of both of you could have been better but more so from you.  The complete and total disrespect and bitching is beyond anything that any one should have to put up with and yet they did for years.

You would come to me complaining and asking for advise and I would listen and give it to you.  I never once ever took sides and I am a straight shooter regardless if the truth hurts or not.  You now have us all blocked and have totally turned your back on everyone and that is fine.  You are entitled to do just that but know you are behaving like a spoiled 1 year old and not the grown ass person that you are.  You have refused to do anything to help better the situation and have done alot to help bring it further down than what it should have been.

There are two sides to every story and you are only painting it as you being the victim and never the instigator in the situation.  Well news flash you started alot more shit than anyone.  I would have put you in your place a long time ago and I have told you that numerous times.  You treat people as if they are to bow down to you and do as you say because your opinion is the only one that matters.  Well news flash it doesn't and it isn't.  Mine isn't either and that is ok.    

Your words that you spew out of your mouth is vile and poisonous like snake venom.  You have said or should I say texted and emailed things to a person that no one should ever say.  You have said things that have made me want to literally punch you in the face but I haven't and won't stoop to that level.  I am better than that.  You have spewed lies after lies and when confronted on them your only response is "oh yeah I forgot about that, your right".  

Your need professional help that can't be given by someone without a PhD no matter how hard anyone has tried.  You simply don't see anything wrong with what you say or what you do.  The things you have said about your own kids, step kids and grand kids are beyond belief and you have everyone thinking you are this helpless victim.  YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM!!!!!

Now to the other person that has been dragged into this whole mess.  I have to apologize for you being involved in it.  It truly breaks my heart to watch such a beautiful person go through this.  You deserve so much more out of life.  I haven't always been there but when I am and was I told you that I would help you anyway possible but you had to be willing to help yourself and get out of the situation that you were in. 

You both are so blind to how your attitude and behavior affects those around you.  My only wish is that you would both realize that there is so much more to life than being abused and abusive towards people.  There is more to life than complaining and bitching.  My only hope for you all is that you get the help that you both need and you can find true peace and love within yourselves.  Take responsibility for your lives, your actions, your family, your health, your happiness and your financial situations and learn to stand on your own two feet and support yourself.  Then and only then will you truly find happiness.  

I truly wish you both the best of luck and know that I have always had your best interest at heart.  I have always only wanted to help and not hurt.  I have always wanted more for you but you have to step up and take responsibility and do some of the work yourselves.  

Again, best of luck to you both and know that you are in my prayers that you will get the help you need.




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Thursday, March 24, 2016

Lost, Lonely, Confused, Depressed and Ramblings



This post will probably be a long one.  I hope you stick around to the end and leave me a comment, some advise or just a prayer.


****This is not my picture, I got it from I Heart it****


Hello everyone.  I hope you are having a wonderful evening.  It has been over a month since my last post and honestly I don't know why.  It isn't like I haven't had things to talk about or to share but for some reason tonight I really needed to get these thoughts and words out of my head.

So for sometime I have been in pain in my left lower back area and it radiates around to my groin area and there isn't anything that seems to trigger it.  I hurt all the time and just contributed it to being overweight, out of shape and a car accident that caused major damage to the left side of my body 21 years ago.  

Living with chronic pain is nothing new for me but this was different.  This wasn't going away no matter what I did or what I took (over the counter of course).  Finally the pain started shooting down my leg and causing my back to spasm so bad I couldn't move and I almost dropped my 17 month old grandson.  I knew something was serious wrong at that point.

How scary it is to know that you could drop a child and there is nothing you could do about it.  I finally got a call into a new doctor and she ran all sorts of test on me.  Including one for Lyme Disease.  What, Lyme Disease?, no way I could have that.  I have never been bitten by a tick in my life.  But what the hell run the test anyway, what could it hurt after all I just wanted answers as to why I was hurting all the time and my ankles were swollen and have been for over a year.

Well last week I get the call from my doctor and here is what she tells me:

Thyroid, CBC, Kidneys, Iron, and so forth are normal...wooohoooo.  Especially considering I had a scare just last year over my Thyroid and the year before that.  I was shocked that my iron was normal.  Hell I have always been anemic so that was a plus that I wasn't.  Then the other news:

You uric acid is at 7.9 and should be at 6
Your liver function is at 52 and should be at 29
Your Vitamin D is basically non-existant
Final blood work results yesterday:  you have lyme disease

OMG are you effin kidding me.  Not sure why my uric acid is up but it is a sign of infection so I am being treated for gout.  Plus side on that is that the swelling has gone down.  Score for the doctor.  Bad side, I have to take a pill everyday for it.

My liver function being so high means I can't take any Nsaids which I am guess is the reason for it to be so high.  I was in so much pain I was taking 2000 mg of Ibuprofen a day.  Yes I know now that was bad.

My Vitamin D level is being handled by taking 50K a week for 8 weeks and then down to 5K a day after that.

Lyme Disease I am taking another antibiotic 2 x's a day for 21 days and being retested in 3 months for all of the above.

Finally a doctor who has actually done blood work and thought outside of the box to figure out what is wrong with me.

However, I am still broken!!!!!!  I am 85 lbs over weight, I am tired, hurting all the time, have trouble sleeping and basically feel like I am only thought of when someone needs or wants something.

As some of you know, I lost my mom and my oldest daughter less than 6 months apart 8 yrs ago this October.  I, We, have never been the same in my family since.  
This was taken Easter Sunday 2008.  Mom died less than a month later and Heather less than 6 months later.

That year 2008 absolutely sucked.  I lost my mom, daughter, house, car, marriage and being able to see my grandchildren, my dog and almost my son to his father.  My life was spinning out of control literally.  I put on almost 100 lbs which I still have almost all of it.

Fast forward to a couple of years... I have a new husband, a mostly new car, a great job, an amazing grandson who has us all wrapped around his finger.  My son and daughter live at home and things are somewhat normal.  

Yet all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.  I am so sick of being sick, I am so tired of being tired, I am exhausted from all the pain of being ignored and made to feel less than dirt.  I am tired of being lied to about everything and having stuff said to me just to make me shut up and pretend like nothing has changed.

I read something tonight on facebook that has literally broken me into a million pieces.  I want to put it out here on the web but I know if I do there will be so many issues at home over it that I won't be able to handle it.  

So I guess in closing I ask that you all say a prayer for me.  A prayer for strength, healing, love, comfort and happiness.  I need help!!!!!  I pray to God most nights, I talk to him during the day, I beg for guidance, strength and clarity but so far he hasn't answered me.  I know that he has a plan and he will answer on his time and not mine.  I just really wish he would answer me quicker.  

I want to lose the weight, I want to stop hurting, I want to feel loved, important to someone, heard and like I matter but even though the words may flow from the mouth the actions are proof.



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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Skating along with January Hodgepodge




Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog.  Today I am joining in with Joyce at From This Side of the Pond for her Wednesday Hodgepodge.  If you have never joined in or been to her blog I suggest you hope on over and get the questions, answer them and link up.  This is a great way to meet other bloggers.  Who knows you just might find your next best friend, learn something you didn’t know or get great advise on other things such as food and travel.

So without further ado here are this week’s questions and answers.  Please be sure to leave a comment with your blog link so I can visit and join in on your wonderful answers.

1.  Speaking of skating...when did you last 'skate on thin ice', 'skate over the details', 'encounter a cheapskate', or just plain skate?
--- Oh wow, digging back in the memory bank here.  I guess the one time that has stuck out in my mind is when my brother took me and a friend ice skating for the first time.  It was freezing cold, he had an old VW bug that was rusty as all get out.  The part that makes me remember it the most is that he kept taking me to the middle of the rink and letting go.  I think I sat on the ice more than I stood.

2. What would you say is the biggest problem of people your age?
--- The inability to discipline their children.  When I look at my kids and other kids their same age I am appalled at the lack of respect for themselves, others and things in general.  The parents don’t seem to want to discipline them and make them respectful of anything.

3. What's your favorite accessory? Is it something you wear every day, often, or only on special occasions?
--- My black cardigan sweater and fit bit.  Without either of them I feel lost and like I am forgetting something.

4. January 20th is National Cheese Lover's Day. Are you a lover of cheese? What's your favorite dish made with cheese? Last thing you ate that contained some kind of cheese? 
---I would have to say a hot ham and cheese sandwich is my favorite.  However, for what I ate last with cheese would be hamburger Bacon and Cheeseburger for dinner.

5. What's something guaranteed to make you roll your eyes? 
 --- a smartass kid,  I have to roll my eyes or I will be charged with assault.
6. Your favorite book series
--- Dean Koontz Odd Thomas

7. Why did you choose your profession? 
---Honestly, I didn’t really pick my profession.  I have worked in Accounting for the last 20 years.  I wanted to be an attorney but realized I was afraid of court so I changed to a Management Degree but no one will hire without experience and you can’t get experience if no one will hire you to begin with.

8. Insert your own random thought here. 
---Yesterday started off pretty scary.  My SIL called me and told me that my oldest brother who lives about 15 miles from me was in a car wreck.  Thankfully he is ok but their car is totaled and my SIL is in the hospital with serious medical issues.  They only have the one car and his work is about 20 miles from where he lives.  There is no public transportation that comes out by his house and I am not sure what he is going to do in order to get back and forth to work.  I am going to offer to let him stay with me until she gets out of the hospital and they can get another car.

---I honestly need to blog more because as of this post I have only done about 3 posts for the month of January.  Seriously need to get some more post up.
  

Don’t forget to leave me a comment with your blog link included.  I love meeting and following new people and learning something new.  I hope you all have an amazing rest of the week and weekend.


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Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Seriously Behind the Times -- Melissa McCarthy Clothes




The other day I was surfing the internet and came across a post about Melissa McCarthy and her new clothes line.  First let me just say this.....SHE LOOKS AMAZING!!!!!!  OMG, a totally different person.  I loved watching her on the Gilmore Girls, in movies and of course the Mike and Molly show.  She is freaking hilarious.  

I haven't really paid much attention to all the ads saying how she lost alot of weight and what she was doing to lose it and honestly I still don't know how she has been doing it.  What I am writing about is her clothing line.  The one that I didn't know existed.  I love some of the outfits that she wears and given that she was a big girl like I am I thought it was awesome when I found out she had a clothing line.

That is until I took a look at the website and realized that in order to buy a shirt and a pair of pants it would cost more than my electric bill for any given month.  Not to mention that there is a very small selection to choose from, the models are not Plus Size women and not what I consider true plus size.   Below is a picture of 3 items that I picked out which total $154.20 not counting tax or shipping and handling.   

I would LOVE to have this outfit but I honestly can't justify paying that much money for 1 outfit.  Just can't do it.


Now I understand that you are going to pay more for items that carry the name of a celebrity name but honestly I think it is crazy that we should have to pay that sort of price.  Why are plus girls punished with pricing and lack of style?

I took a look at her sizing chart and realized that the numbers they have are IMP unrealistic.  If you seen me in person you would not believe that I have to wear a 2-3x in clothing because honestly what is the biggest on me is my stomach.  This is why I have such an issue with finding clothing to fit and look right.  It seems that everyone wants to have a flatter stomach and that is fine and great.  Hell I want a flat stomach but in reality I know that it isn't going to happen anytime soon.  

So given all this news about me getting extremely excited to find she has a clothing line only to be let down by over priced, unrealistic sizes and a very limited selection of cute clothing I then find out she has this damn SLIMMING BAND in the pants.  When is the last time you seen a honest to goodness Plus Size Woman without any rolls?  Come on now, seriously, all these models they show I believe are not Plus Size because they have flat bellies.  Uh hello????????????  How do you get the rolls in these pants with this new "Slimming Technology" when the problem is you can't get the pants on to begin with even if they are your size because of this "technology".




I have rolls people, I need to hide them in jeans but with this technology I can't even get the biggest pair of pants to button.  I made that mistake once and I won't do it again.  Do people not realize when you put these on and they slim your tummy that the extra has to go somewhere?  Usually up and that is only if you can get the pants buttoned.  

I would love to see the clothing industry use real models that have rolls to design their clothing.  Sorry if this sounds so harsh and rude and whatever else but I am tired of seeing all these "Plus Size Women" celebrities with amazing clothing on and us normal everyday folk can't find them or better yet afford them.  Hell I would have a better chance of finding pants that fit in the Maternity section of a store than I would some of these that they "Design" for Plus Size Women.

Ok rant over.  Have you ever run into this problem as a Plus Size woman?  What is the biggest challenge you face when shopping for clothing?  Are you also like me and in the middle when it comes to length of the legs?

I would love to hear your opinion and what you do to solve the problems you run into when trying to shop for an outfit.

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Friday, January 01, 2016

My Results with Garcinia Cambogia and Weight Loss





Hello everyone and Happy New Year.  I know that alot of people start out the new year with a resolution to lose weight and when we make that resolution we really mean it at the time.  However, as the days go by and life continues to happen we seem to fall out of the desire to actually do the work to make ourselves lose weight.

October 2014, I got on the scale and cried.  I weighed in at 235 lbs.  That is the heaviest I have ever been in my life.  I was miserable, tired all the time, ate only lunch and dinner, wanted to sleep alot and hurt all over.  Come January 22, 2015 I was down 12 lbs.  Yeah I was excited.  You can read more Here and see the plates and the before and after pictures.  Here is a sneak peak at one of the photos you will see:  



I got the opportunity to try out Garcinia Cambogia Advanced and Slender Cleanse Advanced for Free for an Honest Review.  Let me just say, I was a little afraid when I seen Slender Cleanse Advanced, ok, yes those thoughts were going through my mind.  But, I tried it anyway and I was impressed that I didn't have any accidents in my pants if you know what I mean.

Here are the claims that it makes:
MORE EFFECTIVE THAN ANY SINGLE PILL! Your FAVORITE TV Doctor demands-Where did the Fruit come from? -Is the extract 100% pure? -Does it have the right dose per serving? -Does it contain atleast 60% HCA?
Garcinia Cambogia Advanced was developed with the TV doctor's criteria for the proper Garcinia Supplement.
100% Pure
Absolutely NO fillers, NO binders, , NO artificial ingredients, GMO-FREE and GLUTEN-FREE
And most importantly they must contain at least 60% HCA, which is the key to weight loss.
Slender Cleanse Advanced is an all natural gentle method to break up and flush away POUNDS of unwanted toxins and build up from the walls of your colon and intestines. SKINNY JEANS HERE YOU COME!
WHY YOU NEED TO ENSURE YOU USE GARCINIA CAMBOGIA ADVANCED AND SLENDER CLEANSE ADVANCED?
ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM:
Weight Gain *Acne *Sluggishness *Mood Swings & Irritability* Gas & Bloating* Sleeping Problems* Constipation?
Cleanse Your way to a NEW YOU with Slender Cleanse Advanced and Garcinia Cambogia Advanced!
NOTE: This product is specifically designed for men and women that NEED TO LOSE MORE THAN 10 LBS

I started taking them like it said on the bottle, GC 2 pills daily and the ASC 2 pills 2 times daily.  Ok again, think of my terror not knowing what the ASC was going to do to my body.  However, my fear with this system was unfounded.  I didn't starve and more importantly I didn't make a mess of myself either.  Points!!!!  



Now that I am starting my second week on these pills I wanted to share my results with you.  SO far in 1 week I am down 5 lbs without exercise, without extra steps, without curbing the way I eat and without any side effects.   Oh the most important thing to mention here, I did not get in the recommended daily water intake either.  As a matter of fact I only had the 8 glasses on 1 day of the entire week.  The rest of the time I drank mostly coffee and tea.

Now I know that everyone is different and not everyone will have the same results.  As a matter of fact there are some that have taken this and seen no results at all.  However, I recommend you to read these two articles that I found online about what exactly this is and other medical information before taking this product.  The one from WebMD and Healthline are very interesting.  Yes you have seen this on Dr. Oz before and other places such as Walmart, Walgreens and Amazon which is where I would recommend getting it at.  

Some studies have found that it can also lower Cholesterol levels but if you are on Cholesterol medicine it is not recommended to use this product according to WebMD.  It is always best to consult your doctor before taking this or any other weight loss product for it may have possible side effects that can cause serious complications,

My overall opinion of this product is a good one.  Again the recap, I have lost 5 lbs in a week with no exercise and maintaining my normal eating habits.  I will be getting back to the gym this week since I am now over being sick and should see better results with exercise added into the program.   Granted everyone might see different results but for me, it did make me loose weight, my acne cleared up and I have regulated.  However, I did not see an increase in energy or sleep but the rest was spot on.

So have you ever used this product?  What was your results?  Do you think that you would like to try it?  I would love to hear your results if you have used it and what you found worked best for you or didn't work.

Please again, Consult your Physician before taking this or any other weight loss product on the market!!!!!!!



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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Last Hodgepodge of the Year.



Welcome back to another Hodgepodge with Joyce over at From This Side of the Pond.  if you haven't joined in before I highly recommend that you do.  There are alot of people who participate and who knows you might just meet a new friend or two.  So hope on over Here and join in.  

Don't forget to leave a message and let me know you were here along with your blog link so I can check in and follow as well.

1. Share a favorite memory/moment from the week of Christmas.
--- I think one of my favorite moments is watching my grandson open his presents and seeing he got a basket ball.  He loves balls, everything he sees that is round he calls a ball ball.





2.  If someone wrote a book about your life based on the past year, what genre would it fall under? What would the title be?
--- Is there a genre for boring?  It wasn’t exciting at all.

3. What made you feel patriotic this year?
--- Nothing specifically.  I like to try and be patriotic all year round.

4. What experience from this past year would you like to do all over again?
--- I would have to say going to the hotel with my hubby.  We did a mini getaway from everything.  The main point was so that I could soak in a Jacuzzi tub for the evening.

5. What song lyric sums up or is a reflection of your 2015?
--- Hit Me with Your Best Shot….I had some bumps in the road but nothing kept me down.

6. On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate 2015?  (10=stellar) Why?
--- I would have to rate it a 5.  It wasn’t terribly exciting but nothing terribly bad either. 

7. What part of the upcoming year are you most excited about?
--- Losing more weight and doing sponsored post to grow my blog.  So far this past week I am 2 for 2....wooohooo


8. Insert your own random thought here.

--- Well I finally got my first sponsored blog post done and I am excited because I have 3 more in the works as we speak.  Granted they are a challenge considering I have never done one before but I am excited to do them.  Besides you get either free or next to free products.  Who doesn't love free, right?  

--- I am also excited that Christmas is over.  I loved being able to watch my grandson open his presents this year.  However, the aftermath of all the toys in my living room and kitchen aren't a welcoming sight.  Just watching him grow and discover though is a whole other story.  I love being able to be a big part in his life and helping him learn and navigate through the world at them moment.

Don't forget to leave a comment with your link to your blog so I can visit and I love making new friends so lets be friends. ♥♥♥

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